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I can’t put stuff together. My dad and my brother can sit down, look at instructions, and 30 minutes later it’s done. At some point when I was a fetus, the assembly gene never fully developed.  One time for my son’s 4^th birthday my wife bought him a Ferris wheel that had to be put together – it was 362 different pieces. 362!!!!! That was the first time I thought about what my life would be like if I divorced her. I hired our handyman to assemble it, and three hours later he was done. Cost of Ferris wheel: $60 dollars. Cost to assemble: $110. Moving forward, I assemble loans too! Are you a first-time homebuyer or seasoned investor? Are you self-employed and need a bank statement loan instead of an underwriter performing a colonoscopy on your tax returns? I’m your man for any kind of loan – I’m really good at assembling those! And now onto the blog…

Assembling Quote of the Day: “Being a dad is the greatest, except for assembling things.” – Conan O’Brien

Wuss’up This Week: Every day reports about our economy are released into the wild, and it’s these reports that can sway interest rates in either direction. Today we’ve got Durable-Goods Orders (expected: -1%), tomorrow Jobless Claims (expected:226k) along with Pending Home Sales, and Friday there are four inflation reports. If these come out good for the economy we’ll see rates tick up, and vice versa if the numbers disappoint.

Interest Rate Update: Today we find a 30yr fixed for a first time homebuyer at 6.50% if the loan is $200k or less. For a loan of $201k-$806k it’s anywhere from 6.624%-7.125%. For a jumbo loan (*over $806k) we are in the high-6s for a 30yr fixed and low-6s for ARMs. As usual rates will vary based on type of home, equity in the home, your credit score, and if you’ve found interesting thrift store items.

Don’t Forget to Remember: Any purchase that closes with me I will waive $450 in lender fees! (and much more on a refinance!!). Grab yourself some instant karma and pass my info along to any friends, family, coworkers, or people that need first-time homebuying tips that can use this gift.

Assembling Quote of the Day 2: “I’m not a good person. I mean, I’m not a bad person, but I’m definitely not a good person. I’m just sort of a guy who’s here. I’m like a human Ikea bookshelf. You assemble it, and you go, ‘That’s good enough.’” – Louis C.K.

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