Assembling Rates, Thrift Store Finds, and Possums!

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I can’t put stuff together. My dad and my brother can sit down, look at instructions, and 30 minutes later it’s done. At some point when I was a fetus, the assembly gene never fully developed.  One time for my son’s 4^th birthday my wife bought him a Ferris wheel that had to be put together – it was 362 different pieces. 362!!!!! That was the first time I thought about what my life would be like if I divorced her. I hired our handyman to assemble it, and three hours later he was done. Cost of Ferris wheel: $60 dollars. Cost to assemble: $110. This is why my handyman will retire before me. Moving forward, I am much better at assembling loans! Are you a first-time homebuyer or seasoned investor? Are you self-employed and need a bank statement loan instead of an underwriter performing a colonoscopy on your tax returns? I’m your man for putting any kind of loan together! And now onto the blog…

Assembling Quote of the Day: “Being a dad is the greatest, except for assembling things.” – Conan O’Brien

Wuss’up This Week: Every day reports about our economy are released into the wild, and it’s these reports that can sway interest rates in either direction. Today we’ve got Durable-Goods Orders (expected: -1%), tomorrow Jobless Claims (expected:226k) along with Pending Home Sales, and Friday there are four inflation reports. If these come out good for the economy we’ll see rates tick up, and vice versa if the numbers disappoint.

Interest Rate Update: Today we find a 30yr fixed for a first time homebuyer at 6.50% if the loan is $200k or less. For a loan of $201k-$806k it’s anywhere from 6.624%-7.125%. For a jumbo loan (*over $806k) we are in the high-6s for a 30yr fixed and low-6s for ARMs. As usual rates will vary based on type of home, equity in the home, your credit score, and if you’ve found interesting thrift store items.

Don’t Forget to Remember: Any purchase that closes with me I will waive $450 in lender fees! (and much more on a refinance!!). Grab yourself some instant karma and pass my info along to any friends, family, coworkers, or people that need first-time homebuying tips that can use this gift.

Assembling Quote of the Day 2: “I’m not a good person. I mean, I’m not a bad person, but I’m definitely not a good person. I’m just sort of a guy who’s here. I’m like a human Ikea bookshelf. You assemble it, and you go, ‘That’s good enough.’” – Louis C.K.

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Timeout for Trivia: Congrats to those who guessed Bruce Willis last week! Want to be entered into a drawing to win a funny Possum Mug? Simply email me the answer to this weeks’ Who Am I? question. Good luck:“My song hit # 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 on January 17^th, 2015 and ended its reign this week of 2015. The two-word title of the song can also be called Residential District Groove. That song is just one of nine number-one singles, and I’ve sold over 150 million records worldwide. I know you’re wondering if I can act too. Well, did you guys see the 2022 Elvis movie starring Austin Butler? He was pretty good but I’d like to say he’s not the only one who can play The King in a movie, as I did it – albeit briefly – back in ’92. Back to my music though, here’s some fun trivia: The title of my first song to hit # 1 is the same title of a Billy Joel song that went to # 3 as well as winning him Song of the Year in ’79. Final hint: What do I have in common with the Red Hot Chili Peppers? For that answer you’ll have to go back in time to February 2014.”

The Adieu Mortgage Haiku:

Assembling loans

It’s what I’ve done for decades.

I’m happy to help!